Dreams – Then and Now

Once I read the prompt today at OctPoWriMo, I was grateful that we were offered an “out”. We were reminded that we didn’t have to share our poem if we didn’t want to. The prompt asked us to write about the dream(s) of ourselves at eight years old. That was a tough one for me. That age, in particular, was when things really began to go sideways for me. I poured this poem out in one shot and I gave serious consideration to not posting it. Then I remembered a promise I made to myself about three years ago. I promised that I would talk about what happened to me. Silence is part of the problem. So here it is… raw, ugly, and as real as it gets.

Self-Portrait Pieces of Me

I don’t want to write this poem today.

I don’t really have anything to say.

The prompt about our childhood dreams

Reminded me too much,it seems,

The dreams I had at eight or nine

Are dreams that are no longer mine.

My dreams were stolen away from me

By things that I could not foresee.

Child abuse and teenage rape

Imprisoned me beyond escape.

Beneath protective layers of fat

I hid away from life and that

Shut me down for many years

Until I shattered into tears.

I cried and cried and cried for hours

And freed my soul from the evil powers.

The wounds began to heal at last

When I forgave those from my past.

The little girl began to grow

And now, my friends, I finally know

That though I dreamt of life on the stage

My creative life now belongs on the page.

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11 thoughts on “Dreams – Then and Now

  1. Oh..😔 I want to give you a massive hug, sorry to hear you’ve gone through such a traumatic experience as a child, no child should..this is a very touching piece, you’ve written it perfectly..(I do prefer raw writes to polished ones on most occasions). Hugs.

    • Thank you. I nearly let the prompt shut me down, but the first four lines came to me while driving today (isn’t that when everyone writes?). I knew then that I had to write it. I didn’t want to post it because sometimes I fear I talk about what happened too much too publicly. But then I realize that if just ONE person reads it and breaks their own silence to begin healing, then it’s worth putting it out there.

      • You’ve hit it on the head, this is why I love raw writes, it’s about reaching out to anyone who may be living through a similar situation, it is difficult to share those moments which have hurt you the most, in some ways you make yourself vulnerable, but I always think of the greater good, what if someone reads what I’ve written and can see they are not alone, that they can do something about it..I’ve started a separate blog solely for raw writes, and I’m going to be posting my poetry journal which I wrote as I grew up, it’ll be interesting sharing that, but like you say, I’ve always said that journal is not for me, but for those who read it and hopefully find the courage to stand up and makes changes in their lives (ok you didn’t quite say that, I’m just tired and waffling 😳)…what I really wanted to say was, I agree with your reasoning 100%. ☺️✨

  2. This is wonderful. The singsong rhyme is at odds with and yet somehow enhances the rawness of the content. Very powerful. Thank you for your willingness to be vulnerable here.

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