Growing Up Me-Me

This poem was a visceral reaction to the poem linked in the video below. (Thank you, Morgan, for sharing that video!) Today’s prompt at OctPoWriMo challenged us to write a lyrical poem. I find myself writing lyric-style poems often. One of my favorites is one I called “Goin’ Fishin’.” When this poem surfaced, though, I had no choice but to write it. I thought about keeping it to myself, but I felt I needed to put it out there. I’ve told my story before, hinted to it in other poems, but clearly it’s still something that influences my creative process. I hope it can help someone.

12-year-old me

12-year-old me

Little girl

Chosen little girl

Told by everyone that she is special

Told by him that she is special

As he touched her

Down there.

Special little girl

Confused by the forces of nature

Caused her body to react

Changed her body until suddenly

He doesn’t touch her

Ever again.

Confused little girl

Felt no longer special

Hid her confusion in an ice cream sundae

Hid her pain in chocolate cookie dough

She touches herself

With sadness.

Sad little girl

Betrayed by her better self

Sneaked an extra biscuit at dinner

Stole a soothing mouthful of macaroni and cheese.

Food touches her

With anesthetic.

Numb young woman

Buried beneath layers of protective fat cells

Hidden from hope and dreams

Chained to a tortured memory

No one touches her

That way.

Broken young woman

Found a way to ease the pain

Trusted food as her best friend

Traded favors for embraces

Too many touched her

For nothing.

Grown girl-woman

Trusted a long time friend and fell for him

Healed by the passage of time

Healed through the making of art

He touches her now

With love.

 

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18 thoughts on “Growing Up Me-Me

  1. My God, what an intensely honest and beautiful post. “You have to be brave with your life so others can be brave with theirs.” -Dr. Brene Brown (if you haven’t read her books, do!)

  2. Reblogged this on QUINN WORDS and commented:
    I’m reblogging this poem because it took guts for her to write it and it deserves to be heard. “Vulnerability begets vulnerability. Courage is contagious.” -Brene Brown

  3. Thank you for sharing. Beautifully written on such a sorrow-filled subject.
    Healing is a blessing I can see, and I always think of the title of a book … I don’t remember
    the author at the moment…”Stronger at the Broken Places” … the title got me thru some
    tough times. I truly believe that when we feel strong enough to share with others our
    healing from feeling / being broken, we never know how far the ripples in the universe and
    help another heal.

    Appreciate your posting this poem.

    Peace
    Siggi

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